How To Know God’s Will In Difficult Decisions

It’s easier than you might think.

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My wife Carolyn is better at making difficult decisions than me. I tend to think it all through very carefully, weighing the pros and cons, taking time to analyze all aspects and so on. Carolyn, on the other hand, comes to a conclusion quickly, announces her decision without hesitation and it’s over. I’ve often been a little envious of her in this.

A good example is when we first met. Carolyn was quickly convinced that I was the one for her and that we should get married. (She made it clear to me.) But I was slower to come to that conclusion. In fact, she is happy to take credit for our marriage happening. She’s convinced that if she wouldn’t have pushed me along, we would never have gotten married.

In my weaker moments like right now, I admit that she’s probably right.

Maybe you’re more like Carolyn or maybe you’re more like me. If you’re more like me, this article should be especially helpful.

I’ve gotten better at making decisions, both big and small ones, based on my biblical understanding of a passage of Scripture in the Epistle of James.

So from James 1, here are 3 steps to know God’s will in difficult decisions:

01. Thank God for your difficult situations.

“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” (James 1:2-4 ESV)

When we face difficult situations, we often think that means we’re outside of God’s will. This passage says something different. Being in God’s will doesn’t necessarily mean that life will be easy. 

Verses 9 and 12 later confirm this truth.

So the first step in making difficult decisions is to thank God that even in trials, He makes good things happen.

The progress of this good that happens is described in verses 2-4: trials produce faith and steadfastness. In time, as we remain steadfast, we become complete or mature.

So stop thinking that ease means you’re in God’s will and trials mean you’re out of God’s will. Thank God that whether times are easy or difficult, He is making “all things to work together for good.” (Romans 8:28)

02. Pray for guidance and believe that God will give it.

“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.” (James 1:5 ESV)

This step is remarkably simple: We are to pray for God’s wisdom and know that He will enlighten us.

In the past I’ve struggled with this because it seems too easy. I’ve thought, “Do you mean I just ask God for wisdom and He gives it?”

The answer is “Yes, that’s exactly what it says.”

Some call this:

• A leading

• A knowing

• A word of knowledge (1 Corinthians 12:8)

Sometimes this comes quickly. Other times it takes longer. But it is God’s promise to give wisdom or guidance.

It gets easier the more you learn to know the shepherd. Jesus said, “My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me.” (John 10:27 NKJV)

It’s not complex, but there is a danger. Sometimes we hear what we want to hear. For this reason, we must use other resources to confirm our leading:

• Scripture. Our leading must never, ever contradict the Bible.

• Spouse and family. The person who says to family members, “This is what God says to do and I don’t care what you think” is headed for trouble.

• Wise counselors. We should never be afraid to listen to and consider what others have to say on the issue. (Proverbs 15:22)

• The passage of time. Does the sense of leading grow with time? Or does it decline?

After considering these other resources, we can move ahead in faith and confidence in our difficult decisions.

03. Trust God’s guidance without doubting.

“But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.” (James 1:6-8 ESV)

In a nutshell, this verse says “don’t be wishy-washy.” Or “don’t waffle.”

This verse used to bother me. Now it is a great comfort.I used to see it as a rebuke. Now I see it as a confirmation.

I now choose the positive approach believing that God does lead (as He promises) and my job is to just to trust His leading. 

As previously mentioned, something that has helped me with this perspective is understanding that God’s leading in difficult decisions doesn’t mean all my trials will be over. In fact, God’s leading might lead me into the greatest trials of my life.

If that happens, we simply return to the first point: “Thank God for your trials.”

Carolyn and I had to do this when back in 2005 we bought property on which to build our dream home. But soon afterwards came the mortgage crisis and the “Great Recession.” No one would loan us money to build our new home.

Finally, one bank told us that if we had a million dollars cash in our bank, then they would loan us money. In other words, if we didn’t need the money, they would loan us the money!

For 10 years we waited. We asked bank after bank. We tried to think of every approach that might secure a construction loan.

We wondered if God had misled us. We almost gave up.

Finally, in 2014 we got a loan! Then we began building and moved into our new home in 2015. We were elated!

God had not misled us. He used the waiting time to build our character. Likewise, He will not mislead you. You can trust His leading, even in difficult decisions.

For more help on this website with decision making and guidance, check out these resources:

• Who Needs a Vision Retreat?

• 4 Steps to Identify Core Values and Make the Best Decisions

• quotecard We Make Our Decisions…

NOTE: Facebook is random. Email is reliable. Subscribe via email and you won’t miss any of my articles, podcasts or videos. You’ll also get my eBook: 10 Prayers to Unlock Heaven on Earth

Why Do We Need Foreign Missionaries?

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Some missionaries serve in their own country. Others like myself live in their home country and travel to other places. Others like the Apostle Paul have an almost completely itinerant ministry. And others like my guest on today’s podcast are foreign missionaries. Some may wonder why do we need foreign missionaries?

Steve Barrett, missionary to Japan.

My guest on this podcast is Steve Barrett who is serving Jesus with his wife in Japan. They are foreign missionaries. Steve grew up here in North San Diego County. He learned Japanese language in college and after marrying and moving to Japan.

Steve works with church planting and evangelism. You can hear more of his story on this podcast.

On this podcast you’ll also hear why we need foreign missionaries.

Japan is a great example of the need for foreign missionaries. According to the Disciple All Nations website, “In 29 of Japan’s 47 prefectures [like provinces or municipalities] at least 50% of the towns do not have a church. Two prefectures have no churches at all. Just one prefecture has a church in every town. Thus we conclude that not only have a large majority of those in Japan never heard the Good News about Jesus Christ, but they have little opportunity to hear the Good News, since there are so many towns that do not have a single Church.”

Here are some of verses related to this topic:

“For ‘everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.’ How then will they call on him in whom they have not believed? And how are they to believe in him of whom they have never heard? And how are they to hear without someone preaching? And how are they to preach unless they are sent? As it is written, ‘How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the good news!’”(Romans 10:13-15 ESV)

“Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few.” (Matthew 7:13-14 ESV)

“For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only Son of God. And this is the judgment: the light has come into the world, and people loved the darkness rather than the light because their works were evil.” (John 3:17-19 ESV, emphasis mine)

“I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” (John 14:6 ESV)

“And this is the testimony, that God gave us eternal life, and this life is in his Son. Whoever has the Son has life; whoever does not have the Son of God does not have life.” (1 John 5:11-12 ESV)

“He will punish those who do not know God and do not obey the gospel of our Lord Jesus. They will be punished with everlasting destruction and shut out from the presence of the Lord and from the glory of his might” (2 Thessalonians 1:8-9 NIV)

Here are other resources from this website on the need for missionaries and evangelism:

• Five Questions for Those Who Think Many Roads Lead to Heaven

• 4 Great Questions to Ignite Passion for Evangelism in a Lost World

• How to Jump off the Fence and Decide to Support Missions

• Who Needs Jesus, I’m a Good Person

• Five Questions for Those Who Think Many Roads Lead to Heaven

• Video – the Great Commission is for ALL Christians

• Podcast: Isn’t Christianity arrogant to claim to be the only way to heaven?

• Podcast: Do Christians and Muslims worship the same God?

• Podcast: Can salvation be received without the Gospel? (Inclusivism)

To learn more about this “Christianity Questions and Answers” podcast and how to submit your questions, click HERE. 

To receive Jesus Christ as your Savior and Lord click HERE.

To develop your relationship with God, get my free eBook “10 Prayers to Unlock Heaven on Earth” click HERE.

You can leave a comment below.

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Faith Means Acting When You Feel Inadequate

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I sure know what it is like to feel inadequate. After high school I attended Moody Bible Institute. In summers I went back to my parents’ home in Reynoldsburg, Ohio. One summer, some friends and I were talking. One of them said, “I know what you’re gonna do. You’re gonna be a preacher.”

Church planter (me) wife (Carolyn) and new baby (Gabriel) 1981. We met in this recreation center here in Vista, California.

My response was like Peter who denied the Lord 3 times before the rooster crowed. I immediately answered, “Naw, not me. I can’t stand speaking in front of groups of people.”

In addition, an even greater hindrance was that I didn’t feel spiritually adequate. I thought that:

• I didn’t know the Bible well enough.I didn’t pray enough.

• I didn’t have enough spiritual insight and discernment.

• I wasn’t the man of God I needed to be.

I don’t know exactly where these feelings of inadequacy came from. But I’ve come to realize that they are quite common. We’re in good company when we feel spiritually inadequate:

• Moses felt inadequate and almost refused God’s calling, even after God spoke clearly from the burning bush. (see Exodus 3-4)

• Gideon was called, yet felt totally inadequate. He demanded miracles from God before he would respond. (see Judges 6:11-40)

• Certainly Peter and the other disciples were totally inadequate to lead in the night of Jesus’ betrayal. When things got risky, they were nowhere to be found. Soon Peter was denying he even knew the Lord Jesus! (see Luke 22:54-62.)

I’m not condemning anyone—I was the same way!

But here’s the point: Each overcame their inadequacy and became great leaders.

Faith means acting when you feel inadequate.

So how can you act in faith when you feel inadequate? Here are 4 ways:

01. Step back and confirm your calling.

This is the starting point for tackling mountain-sized goals in faith. It is also the point to return to when we feel inadequate and want to quit.

One of the best ways to confirm your calling is with a prayer retreat.

When I became a missionary in 1998, it was a huge faith step. I was not offered a paying job—I would have to quit my job as a pastor to live by faith, trusting God completely for His supply. Anything I was paid would have to be given by supporters who believed in me and my ministry.

Soon after resigning my church, I went on a prayer retreat in the mountains near our home. There I felt the weight of what I had done and prayed, “God, what have I gotten myself into now?!”

I was genuinely scared and feeling inadequate to the task of trusting God for our supply. 

Quickly the Lord spoke to my heart, “Mark, you’ve had the opportunity to start several churches as a church planting pastor. But now you will be able to help thousands of churches get started. So what are you whining about? Just get going.”

Wow, what a confirmation from the Lord. It was a balm for my troubled, inadequate soul.

From that point on I really didn’t look back.

The road ahead wasn’t always easy. But that confirmation of my calling helped give me the confidence to move ahead, despite feeling inadequate.

In 2 Corinthians 2:16 the Apostle Paul asks the question “And who is adequate for such a task as this?”

That task is spreading the Gospel of Christ. The implication is that none of us are adequate.

Yet while we are inadequate, we are called. Therefore, we do God’s work.

So when you feel inadequate, step back and confirm your calling.

02. Remember God’s past faithfulness.

Has God been faithful to you in the past?

Whether or not you realize it, the answer is “yes.” You just need to remember what He has done:

• Asaph wrote, “I will remember the deeds of the LORD; yes, I will remember your wonders of old.” (Psalm 77:11 ESV)

• David wrote, “I remember the days of old; I meditate on all that you have done; I ponder the work of your hands.” (Psalm 143:5 ESV)

The psalmists gained strength from remembering God’s works in the past. We must do the same.

When I was in the mountains wondering how a faith-supported ministry could work for me, it was a great comfort to remember how God had been so faithful in the past. Church planting had been a great strain, but we had survived and the churches I was privileged to lead had survived and grown.

The fact is that we are likely to survive. And even if we don’t, as John Maxwell is fond of saying, the truth is “I don’t have to survive.” 

By that I think he means that none of us are really going to survive this world anyways. The death rate for human beings is 100%.

But the fact is that you and I have survived so far and we will continue to survive until God decides it’s time to close the curtain. So how can I question His calling and faithfulness to it?

When we remember God’s faithfulness, we can once again say, “Here am I, send me.” (Isaiah 6:8)

03. Take the next step, then the next and so on. 

Someone said, “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”

No one begins at the finish line, we all begin at the starting line. Victory comes when we take the first step, then the next and so on.

What’s funny is that when I denied I would go into ministry, it was because I didn’t like speaking before groups. But guess what is one of my favorite jobs in ministry nowadays? Yep, speaking, teaching and preaching! Can you believe it?

How did that happen? It happened as I took uncomfortable steps of faith, stumbled, learned, gained confidence, saw God use me and kept going.

Just a few days ago I preached in a church that has lost its pastor. The people made it clear that they’d love me to take the job. When I think of my past I shake my head in amazement.

We must remember that confidence builds as we take the next steps. At first we will feel awkward, unprepared, and even clueless because:

• We’ve never gone this way before.

• The path is unknown.

• All the particulars aren’t settled.Questions abound.

• Fears spring up.

But as we take each successive step, we learn the path, we make progress, and we gain confidence.

When you feel inadequate, take the next step.

04. Stay humble and grow. 

As we take the next step, and begin to see success, we might face the greatest challenge of all: pride leading to overconfidence and then a fall.

Why is this so? The Bible says, “Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.” (Proverbs 16:18 ESV)

When we succeed, we tend to become prideful and that leads to a fall.

Someone said that “For every ten persons who can handle failure, there is only one who can handle success.”

Church history is filled with stories of successful Christian leaders who have tragically fallen to various temptations. They’ve destroyed their ministry, their family, their health.

So one of my biggest fears is pride.

The antidote to pride is to:

• Pray that God would keep me humble

• Give family and friends permission to warn me of pride

• Welcome thorns in the flesh that help to keep me humble: “So to keep me from becoming proud, I was given a thorn in my flesh…” (2 Corinthians 12:7 NLT)

“Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.” (Proverbs 4:23 NLT)

So for years I’ve prayed this “humility prayer” from Andrew Murray’s book Humility:

“Out of your great goodness Lord please make known to me and take away from my heart, every kind and form and degree of pride, whether it be from evil spirits, or my own corrupt nature; and please awaken in me the deepest depth and truth of that humility which can make me capable of Your light and Holy Spirit. Amen.”

So you feel inadequate? Welcome to the club and thank God for it. As the Apostle Paul said: “When I am weak, then I am strong.” (2 Corinthians 12:10)

For more help with overcoming inadequacy and building confidence, check out these articles I’ve written:

• How to Find Confidence in a Critical World and Stay Humble

• How to Survive Rejection and Find Acceptance Today

• How Reluctant Leaders Become Confident Achievers for God

• Having Just One Person to Please Brings Peace

• 6 Strategies to Handle Insults Without Becoming a Doormat

NOTE: Facebook is random. Email is reliable. Subscribe via email and you won’t miss any of my articles, podcasts or videos. You’ll also get my eBook: 10 Prayers to Unlock Heaven on Earth